Like the movie, seven motorcyclists from seven backgrounds
were brought to together by the Ulysses Club on a cold Canberra winter’s day to
protect their diminishing youth from the demoralising powers of ageing,
hypertension and incontinence. I’m not sure if we succeeded but we certainly
gave it a shot on our Sunday ride to Taralga.
The Magnificent Seven turned up at the Watson BP on a day that
could only be described as bleak. But we were not about to let a little wind
and single digit temperature ruin what is always a magnificent ride through the
Upper Lachlan Shire. One by one we turned up on our pride and joy ready to
release some endorphins on some of the best twisty roads in the region.
Maritta arrived early, as all good leaders do, on her
Kawasaki Vulcan 900 with about five layers of clothing and tea cosy which eventually
found its way onto her head. The old girl (the bike) looked primed to go but
one could sense Maritta hands were not going to fare well in the cold wind. My
arrival on the Moto Guzzi California 1400 was of course modest and graced with
Italian flare and style. Like Hansel and Gretel in a gingerbread house Kevin (a
Yul Brynner look alike) and Andrew always turn up for a ride, meal and a good
chat. In fact the Luftwaffe (BMWs) were in short supply with only two turning
up. The Bavarian boys are usually more dominant in their presence.
Kris shimmied
up on her mean looking Hayabusa. I don’t know what it is but there’s something
about a Hayabusa that oozes confidence. With a rider like Kris who has
completed many rider training courses and race track meets it’s no wonder we
were all impressed. Fun fact – Hayabusa is Japanese for Peregrine Falcon or
Blackbird killer. Not sure if that is meant to be a dig at Honda.
George and
his Triumph Tiger soon took on the persona of Inspector Gadget. He took great
delight in showing us every gadget he had to combat the cold weather. Then like
a Borg drone from Star Trek regenerating itself George suddenly plugged himself
into his bike. ‘How cool’ I thought. My excitement soon waned when he explained
that it was just his heated vest. I was still impressed.
Then like a cowboy
riding his faithful steed, Chris moseyed up on his Kawasaki GTR1400. This old
girl has done over 170,000 km and like Chris, is still going strong. A good
example of ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’. Chris recons he could get another
100,000 km out of her so we won’t be seeing him on anything new too soon.
After a quick briefing from Maritta we all took off like
rebel pensioners without a cause. All was good through Sutton and Gundaroo
until we hit Gunning. On the outskirts of town Kevin, who always likes to ride tail-end
Charlie, suddenly stopped. This of course led to three other riders stopping or
slowing down to see if he was OK. Kevin shooed us away in frustration, so we
left him alone. We later found out that his Wiggles compilation had stopped
playing so he had to stop and “reconnect to his fandangle electric Bluetooth
wireless device”. There’s one in every group!
Now most people know that the
ride from Gunning to Crookwell and then Taralga is a blast. Beautiful sweeping
corners on tarmac as smooth as a babies bum. Our ride was no different until we
came across the curse of any motorcyclist. A slow country driver who drives at
70 km/h on bends and 120 km/h on the straights. Why God created such a creature
is anyone’s guess. Maybe they were sent to test our patience. Who knows? We
eventually all passed the old fella safely and resumed our orderly formation
when suddenly all hell broke loose. Like a school kid who had just heard the
bell for little lunch Andrew couldn’t help himself and opened up the beamer
passing all of us in one move. This of course set the other kids off and they
followed suit leaving Maritta, George and myself in their wake. With heated
handgrips on max and George’ s vest on 11 we eventually arrived at Taralga
which was a balmy 7°C. Maritta promptly vowed to never ride in these parts in
winter again.

We quickly gathered inside and warmed ourselves up by the
fire and feasted pizza, burgers, chips, soup and a couple parma’s for the
farmers. Good food and conversations were being had by all when Andrew dropped
one of the most dangerous questions you can ask in a group of middle-class
Australians over 50. Do you caravan or do you not caravan after you retire? I
won’t go into detail but let’s just say we eventually agreed to disagree. It
was a good-natured debate and laughs were had by all.
With our bellies full and the problems of the world solved
it was time to head forhome. Chris had to help out with a Bunnings BBQ so he upped
and flew to coup. Maritta stopped off at Crookwell to visit one of her many
relatives while the rest of us rode on to Gunning for the usual coffee at the
Old Hume Café and then home.
Thank you Maritta for organising such a great ride and to my
fellow riders for the laughs and good company. You really are the Magnificent
Seven.
Steven Bardwell
The Magnificent Seven
- Maritta Heiler – Kawasaki Vulcan 900
- George Attard – Triumph Tiger 800 XRT
- Kris Jirasek – Hayabusa 1300
- Steven Bardwell – Moto Guzzi California 1400
- Andrew Campbell – BMW R1250RS
- Kevin Sherman – BMW R1250RS
- Chris Dietzel – Kawasaki GTR1400