I hadn’t been able to put boots on for more than four weeks after a high speed collision between my toes and our clumsy lounge but I decided that today was the day. I had managed to wear shoes for the first time only a few days earlier, when I had to go to a work function at Parliament House and didn’t want to go in my thongs because the steel bottle openers in the soles would have set off the security alarms. The shoes weren’t comfortable but they were bearable.
I would love to report that in light of my obvious disability the bride would have jumped out of bed and cooked me a hearty breakfast to help me through a painful and trying day, but sadly this was not to be. Instead, I made her a cup of tea and served it to her in bed, limping and hobbling my way backwards and forwards between the kitchen and the bedroom.
Ignoring a background of rolling eyes, I eventually managed to drag my boots on over my swollen, discoloured toes and, emulating Elvis, left the room and, indeed, the house.
I arrived at Nicholls not knowing whether we would have a ride leader or not. A mere 18 hours earlier, Chas had been too sick to come to afternoon tea at our place and there was every chance he was still knock, knock, knocking on heaven’s door. But there he was, risen from his deathbed and trying to appear as sharp as a Swiss army knife. It was such a convincing look that nobody offered to take his place at the front of the pack. Besides, we were all firmly of the view that if he wanted to be sick that was his business and we shouldn’t interfere in what could turn out to be a tale of heroism, even id it meant taking a lead from Captain Oates who left the tent and “may be some time”.
Fuelled by copious amounts of paracetamol and pseudoephedrine, Chas ran through Plans A to about Q before deciding that in fact Plan N would probably be the most practical. This entailed us riding via Bungendore, Tarago, Windellama and Bungonia to Trapper’s Bakery at the Big Merino for smoko. Then we would proceed via Taralga and Laggan for lunch at Crookwell.
The sun warmed us as we rode and by the time we got to Tarago I had to stop to change my gloves to a more summery variety. I signalled everyone else to keep going but a minute later who should turn up but Andrew, who had been noticeably absent at Nicholls. The late Mr Campbell and I took off after the pack but when we got to Windellama, feeling a pressing need for caffeine, we turned left and headed straight to Goulburn and Trapper’s Bakery. The rest of the mob, who had travelled a more circuitous route via Bungonia, arrived shortly afterwards.
Like the walrus and the carpenter, we spoke of many things as we sipped our coffee and ate our pies and sausage rolls. Garry wistfully reminisced about the good old days when everything was cut and dried, rides always followed a properly organised Plan A, and corner markers knew their proper place in the universe. Chas, meanwhile, was busily discarding the last remaining shreds of Plan N and had devised a new Plan R. Concerned that it was getting rather late in the morning, he decided to take us directly to Crookwell instead of via the much longer route through Taralga and Laggan.
The rest of us, apart from Kipper who took Mick to a prior engagement, continued on, arriving in Crookwell just on lunchtime. Our first choice, the Crown Theatre Café, was full of ageing sports car enthusiasts so we walked a couple of hundred metres down the road and dined at the bustling Paul’s Café, although a few went across the road to find somewhere quieter.
We rode home via Grabben Gullen and Gunning, where most of the crew stopped for afternoon tea. I kept on going and got home just in time to give the bike a quick wipe down and dash inside to watch the Melbourne F1 GP.
It had been another great day, joyous in its unpredictability and exciting in its drug-assisted, knife-edge execution. However, I hear that Chas is now fully recovered so, sadly, we might never see the likes of this again.
Ian Paterson
The riders were:
- Chas Towie ST1300
- Garry McCurley VFR1200
- Mike & Sharon Kelly Thunderbird 1600
- Mick & Kipper Beltrame Victory XC
- Ian Paterson GL1800
- Neil McRitchie GTR1400
- Craig Fraser GL1800
- Peter Arday ST1300
- Kris Jirasek GSXR1300
- Clive King R1100R
- Les & Julie Robinson Trophy SE
- Trevor X R9T
- Andrew Campbell FJR1300
