For those still with me I shall continue with my diatribe. I will attempt to enlighten you on the intricacies of turning a sow’s ear into a silk purse, or whatever the saying is. I shall endeavour to create something out of nothing and if that’s not possible, then I shall attempt to create something interesting out of something not terribly exciting, of little consequence to those who failed to attend, and reflective of nothing more than a good day out on the motorcycle. Sometimes, the motorcycling takes precedence over the socialising. It’s a rare thing, but today was all about the ride.
This wasn’t expected to be a ride that would generate reams of commentary even though the roads were interesting to the point of being tricky in places. The briefing was brief and I didn’t bother explaining the problematic process of getting from ‘Point A’ (the Advertised Starting Spot or ‘ASS’) to ‘Point B’ (the Morning Sustenance Stop or ‘MSS’) to ‘Point C’ (the Designated Lunch Location or ‘DLL’), thence returning directly to ‘Point D’ (the No Coffee Going Home Option or ‘NCGHO’). Unless of course we all, or some of the we all, stopped at the alternate ‘Point D’ (the Afternoon Refreshment Stop or ‘ARS’) and then went on to the original ‘Point D’ which then becomes ‘Point E’ (the Have Coffee Then Go Home Option or ‘HCTGHO’). Congratulations if you followed that explanation. Your prize is in the mail.
Three paragraphs down and we haven’t even left the ASS yet. I’m doing well. It’s always a quandary about when to join the conga-line of bikes departing the ASS. Do you join in behind the Ride Leader with the likelihood that you will have a cleaner run and faster ride? The downside is the requirement to undertake Corner Marker duties if these have been called for by the Ride Leader. Then you end up right at the back of the pack and can either stay there or ride the wheels off the bike getting back towards the front. Some plead ignorance and ignore the Corner Marker bit, thus requiring rider three to do the duty. Given the lack of requirement for fixed corner marking on this ride, we had few problems. I prefer the Rolling Corner Marker System, or RCMS. Phew. Andrew was volunteered as tail, but even that wasn’t really
necessary.
Opting for a middle position means you are unlikely to get lost but may end up behind a newer or less confident or less capable rider. That’s ok for most of us, most of the time. The real downside is that this is where the elastic band effect takes place and you will often find yourself in a too-close pack of bikes, or suddenly scattered along several kilometres of road with no idea whether you are still playing ‘Follow the Ride Leader’ or some other game like ‘Lost in Space’. The middle can be fun sometimes. At other times, it’s just plain old ‘interesting’.
Those who opt for the tail-end group sometimes do so to just drift along and enjoy the scenery. The downside is that you may get voluntarily stuck behind a slower rider and lose sight of the middle pack as well as the Ride Leader. So long as you know where the next stop is, that’s ok as well. As it was, everybody jockeyed for their preferred position like new starters at an orgy and we rolled out of the ASS in quick succession. I led the procession, mainly due to my place as Ride Leader for the outing. So far, all was going well. It stayed well for the whole ride, excluding some apparently dubious overtaking manoeuvers back in the pack at one point. Lots of cars have dash-cams these days, so it’s best to avoid such things.
The MSS was only a short distance away. Short? Well, by my calculations anyway. Given the weather conditions of too cold, just right or too hot depending on starting attire, we all made it safely to ‘smoko’ at Taralga. That’s an old term when it was acceptable, and often encouraged, that workers take a break from their toil and have a lovely refreshing cigarette. There is nothing like going outside for a breath of fresh air and having a durry to fill your lungs with toxic smoke. I’m a non-smoker. Smoko at Taralga was a pleasant break from the still crisp morning air and we all partook of a warming brew at the Tangled Vine.
I heard no grumbles about the quality of the beverages, so I’ll assume that everybody was delighted with the selections they made. Surprisingly, we were back on the bikes in quick time and heading deeper into the wilds of NSW and some fast and flowing roads. Given the warming air and coffee-fuelled bellies, I was on the lookout in my mirrors for sleepy riders heading into the bushes for a nap, but none eventuated. Most seemed to be awake for the run to lunch, or they simply closed their eyes and followed the noise from the rider in front. That was very tricky given the twists and turns we negotiated. The bugs were out, so visors were down on the full-face helmets to prevent additional post-smoko sustenance from ingested bugs, beetles and other semi-liquid but delightfully crunchy goodies.
Arriving at the DLL was a lesson in how to undertake synchronised parking as we all peeled into the reserve opposite the Rockley Pub and lined up in an almost orderly fashion. Andrew opted to park over at the pub, perhaps fearful of being associated with rest of the rabble. Lunch at the DLL was, by most accounts, awesome. That’s an Amazingly Well Exhibited Selection Of Marvellous Eats – A.W.E.S.O.M.E. I had spotted some roadkill by the edge of the parking area as we pulled into town. It was once someone’s favored pet cat, or small dog, or wild possum, or something equally inedible and thankfully unrecognisable. No, I didn’t munch on the roadkill for lunch. The Rockley menu was far more appetising. I chose something quick and easy. It turned out to be quick, easy and delicious. It was also much better than road-kill, but I should have chosen the bangers and mash instead of the burger as that looked even better. Maybe next time. The coffee was nice too. I like a good coffee.
The lunchtime conversations flowed easily as we discussed anything and everything bike-related, retirement-related, road-related and socially-related. Then, with lunch over and a scant few crumbs left on the plates, we headed for the bikes. Departing was as easy as arriving. Only the direction had changed. Somehow, we all successfully negotiated the correct departure path to the so-called highway and headed for our respective NCGHO or HCTGHO via the ARS, only interrupted by the Perthville refuel. See paragraph three if you have already forgotten what those acronyms stand for. There will be a test. The plan was to travel back south via equally tricky roads as the ones we had headed north on. Fuel at Perthville took a while but the run from there through Trunkey Creek, Tuena and Binda was delightful with a big D. I do like this particular loop. Everybody decided to have a farewell brew at the Gunning ARS before heading home. That’s always the sign of a good ride.
This was a good run. There were no dramas that I know of, unless someone had a problem as we split up after the ARS and the HCTGHO. If so, apologies for not reporting it and taking photos. I went directly from the ARS to my HCTGHO via Mulligans Flat to give me time to wash the bugs off the bike, have a quiet beer and unwind. A few went the same way, while others headed in different directions. My choice of lunch tucker was a highlight of the day for me. I think it was up to scratch for everyone else, so that’s a good thing. It was also a great group to lead and there were no aberrations in the cosmic vortex as far as I am aware. That’s so much better than a wayward bee in your undies.
Ride Leader (that’s me!) did a great job (apparently) and everybody behaved themselves because it was too hard to behave each other. My mirrors showed a continual expansion and contraction of the little group throughout the ride. No big deal, but the old DR650 definitely lost all cobwebs keeping up. The rolling corner marker system seemed to work ok and is my preferred choice outside the city limits. Well folks, it’s time to end the drivel and finish here. Catch up next
time.
Attendees were:
- Ride Leader and Scribe Mick Beltrame (BMW R1250 GS).
- Follower Paul Woodward (Yamaha FJR 1300)
- Follower Dave Jones (Yamaha XT 1200)
- Follower Bill Henshaw (Triumph Explorer 1200)
- Follower Paul Arranz (Suzuki DR 650)
- Follower Donna Crowther (BMW K1600)
- Follower Andrew Campbell (Yamaha FJR 1300)
- Follower Kevin Sherman (Indian Scout)
- Follower Craig Fraser (Yamaha FJR 1300)
- Follower Rob Jones (KTM 1090R)
