Sue and Colin are fabulous hosts and tail end Charlie's and their Vietnamese team of River, Mr Tum and Jeow are excellent. River is the ride leader - a wheeling / dealing so called ladies man. Mr Tum drives the support vehicle and carries the cold beer, water and luggage. Jeow is their mechanic who can fix anything from a sticky throttle to a busted tyre.
Let s start our adventure with the Vietnam Road Rules:
• Keep right
• If something pulls out of a side street or shop and they are in front if you, they have right of way - don't expect them to look - even if they cut you off
• Beep beep beep - the Vietnamese only look ahead and listen behind so its customary and polite to let them know you are overtaking them, besides that they are usually on the phone, holding a baby or two, holding something larger than their bike, or having a smoke or a chat while riding
• A beep behind you means you are being overtaken so hold your line
• Approaching a blind corner - beep beep beep
• Dog/pushbike/oxen/toddler - beep beep beep
• If a truck/van/car is hurtling toward you on your side of the road - keep right
• If a truck/van/car is hurtling toward you and they flash their lights - they aren't going to give way so be prepared to get on the verge, duck into a driveway or stop and have a minor panic attack as your life flashes before your eyes
• If a storm is coming, it will be a short lived massive dump so just drive into someone's house to wait it out. No problem.
• There is no wrong direction - just go. Stopped at an intersection? Just ride on the wrong side until you can cross over - no problem, just beep beep beep.
• Do not assume you have right of way - there is no place here for road rage or attitude - leave it at home
• Don't be timid or hesitate - trust your skills.
• To quote our hosts - “roads in Vietnam are comparable to a river - always go with the flow for a safe and happy journey”
Do you like surprises? Vietnams got me!
• potholes you could disappear in, on most roads
• Roads made from slabs of concrete, with skatey gravel marbles on most corners
• Water buffalo in the middle of the road
• Brown cows, also in the middle of the road
• People just wandering along
• Dogs, chooks, ducks and small children running out at you
• Ladies in long dresses and pointy hats on push bikes
• Riders from all over the world that don't dress for the slide (because it's stinking hot and they are bulletproof - in Vietnam they remove gravel from wounds with a scrubbing brush after they give you just codeine)
• Road works, road works and more road works - there's nothing like the smell of fresh tar being mixed in a drum over a fire on the side of the road
• Cultivators towing trailers
• Motorcycles carrying items that stick out, like panes of glass, rolls of carpet, gardening equipment, oxy acetylene bottles, livestock, laundry, and every possession the rider owns.
Do you like Asian food? The food in Vietnam is fragrant, cheap and fresh. Beer (advantageously spelt Bia in Vietnamese) is cheap (often just 15000 dong or 85 cents) and different from the south to the north - some we tried included Bia Saigon, Huda, Tiger and LaRue. If you love Beer, Baguettes and Pork, you'll be in your element.
The people are friendly (except for the crusty old bat that followed me down the street hitting me with a hand fan trying to convince me to buy it - or was she driving out an evil spirit, I'll never know) and honest and the kids will stop you to practice their English. The ravages of war are still apparent, extensive vegetation damage can still be seen, and birds were not often seen - the tragedy of it all and hearing of the rights and wrongs that occurred on both sides was chilling and sobering, and sometimes heart-warming.
Highlights - Hoi An Ancient City - food, shopping, luxury hotel, swimming pool. Lak Lake - stunning vistas, local show of Vietnamese customs. Cruising the Perfumed River in Hue, Phang Na / KeBang National Park - world heritage listed, amazing caves - worth the trip up the mountain if you are able by foot to the Paradise Cave and the River cave trip by boat is amazing. Fabulous mountain scenery along the road from south to north.
Lowlights - the humidity, the use of glossy, slippery tiles everywhere, unexpected ridges and items for you to stub your toe on, dust, crazy traffic - silver limo van drivers are the worst.
Gary Mac once told me that the Ulysses Club is a broad church - and our tour group was an eclectic bunch. Most were smokers and big beer drinkers so that was something of a running theme each afternoon - we even had two blokes that had given up smoking take it up again! Of course we joined in on the beer to a degree - but this isn't really our thing so the advice here is do your own thing, and we did.
If you are a coffee drinker you're all set, but if you only drink tea bring your own tea bags and a travel jug. Get on the Chan Muoi - a salted citrus drink that is my new favourite flavour. Bring an old top sheet too - most hotels do not supply them. If you only drink wine, forget it. Personally I was looking forward to opening a nice Aussie Shiraz on my return home. Ron and I spent $700 AUD for the two of us on this trip as most things are included, except for dinners and whatever you choose to do on the free days.
For us, this trip was a bucket list tick off. We had a ball and would recommend it to skilled riders with a few years riding under their belt - any off road skills you have will serve you well here, as we spent a lot of time up on the pegs - and those with a sense of adventure who aren't afraid of being dirty and sweaty every day. Remember there is a shower, air con (sometimes even a swim), good company, great food and a cold beer at the end of every day.
Kim and Ron Tito
